


SCARS

by Soiok



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Future, Alternate Universe - New lore, Drinking to Cope, Fucked Up, Gen, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Mild Blood, Outer Space, Post-Break Up, Reference to incarceration, Relationship Issues, Revenge, Self-Sacrifice, Steven being an asshole, SuScarsAu, Swearing, chad steven
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-04
Updated: 2021-03-04
Packaged: 2021-03-16 07:28:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,210
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29821506
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Soiok/pseuds/Soiok
Summary: His body marked, his mind changed. Steven is 21, and living in the same city as Connie now that she's in college- he moved across the country with her. Life isn't as glamourous as he thought it was. He's struggling financially, dropping therapy, and has excommunicated himself from his family without realising it was his own doing. When things go wrong in a human way, Steven doesn't know what to do. Naturally, things start to go wrong in a gem way. This time, maybe he won't be able to fix it.
Relationships: Connie Maheswaran/Steven Universe
Kudos: 9





	SCARS

**Author's Note:**

> Note: So this is directly continued off of a comic i have on Instagram, anyone reading this who hasn't seen that is gonna be very confused, so I'd recommend that first.  
> https://www.instagram.com/cubboba/guide/su-scars-au/18128166352180960/?igshid=arjplnzb052p  
> If you don't read that, it really won't make any sense.
> 
> Once this writing is done the chances of me returning to write more su is slim, as I have more passion projects to work on that involve ocs,, so myb you'd like those too if you enjoyed this ?? 
> 
> Scars is a test run project for me to measure my writing and artistic capability in the long term, meaning when I finish writing this, I'll be using it as a blueprint to continue the comic.  
> The non-number corresponding chapters are so I can summarise and divide the work into a comic post.
> 
> *ALSO* to be completely honest this is my first proper story thing,, and i don't know how to work AO3 so.,, it would be really cool of whoever reads this to let me know how i did this chapter so i know what to clean up in the next x

Again, another warning to _read the comic_ or nothing will make sense, and your time reading this fic will be a waste.

It was a short speech, but it was enough to baffle Steven. Afraid of him?  _ Afraid of  _ **_him?_ ** Connie was looking at Steven like he was some sort of monster, and it succeeded in making him feel guilty about this whole ordeal. Being guilty wasn’t going to fix anything, and it wasn’t enough to make her reconsider. No, to Steven, brutalizing a former friend wasn’t exactly a big deal. He hadn’t even entertained the thought that it could be an issue. Single-handedly, this man was the strongest entity on this planet-it would be an understatement to say it was making him big-headed. Not to mention that he had technically inherited it as property.

Celeste had finally come to, seeing her assailant bewildered, and she could finally hear his ex-girlfriend trying to communicate with her. Connie was always someone she admired.

“Yeah, I.. I can hear you- Fuck, ow..”

“Are you okay?”

“Everything hurts.”

Honestly, it was almost insulting to Steven how quickly Connie ignored him to tend to her injured friend. Why was she being so nice to Celeste? Celeste is the one who SHOT him. If anything, the one that Connie should be scolding was her. Going off on how could she possibly, knowingly shoot Steven. In this emotional mental tangent, Steven had forgotten how he had gotten into this mess. Who were the people who attacked him? It certainly wasn’t for money-if they were partnered with Celeste, they would have known that Steven was flat-broke. 

An odd feeling began to surface in his hand. It was the lack of feeling. Steven gazed upon those brand new pink scars, they formed when his body went into overdrive to quickly close the bullet wound. The adrenaline rush blurred his sense of judgment, and that familiar high he got out of beating someone into the ground- it reminded him of Jasper, and her shattering.

Even after a few years, Steven wasn’t exactly fond of the gem brute. He was certainly more tolerant, and even a little thankful for her ‘teachings’ (teaching is a generous word), but he hadn’t warmed up in the slightest. In retrospect, she was a large influence on who Steven had grown up to become. Hell, it wouldn’t be wrong to say they were alike- almost as if Steven had gone opposite to his childhood self, the one who was upset at the mere thought of causing harm to someone else, and yet now he craved it. Nothing could satisfy Steven’s hunger for an experience quite like shattering someone. 

If anything, Connie should have been grateful he was able to keep these feelings locked up in a forgotten dark space for so long. He watched Connie help Celeste up, and he simply dropped the phone he was clutching so tightly. When the two started to step away, he wanted to interject. 

“Where the hell are you going?”

“Steven, do me a favor. Don’t ever talk to me again.”

Steven didn’t want to be left alone again. An all too familiar sense of dread crept onto him, there wasn’t a way to get back from this. Connie would tell the others, and then they would isolate him. Hell, maybe they would even turn him in. He was not interested in going back to jail.

Steven kicked Connie’s phone towards her and started to walk away-ignoring her protest to that. She assumed he was heading home. Besides, her priority was Celeste, and her two pals who were also beaten into the ground. Picking up that now scratched phone, she had cringed at the new, dissatisfying texture. It sent shivers up her body, in a bad way. Calling dispatch, she requested medical help, and maybe an officer to explain the situation. For what felt like too long, the red and blue flashing lights had arrived, and they reminded her of a course of events that happened two years before. History repeats, but she didn’t anticipate it would be this quickly.

The ride there was quick, and it was almost the blink of an eye when a familiar aura arrived behind her.

“Who is it?”

“..Jake?”

“You’re no fun.”

Jake sat down next to Connie, it was obvious he had run to the hospital. A taxi was unreliable with the current traffic. Jake wore a black jacket with a white embroidered butterfly that resembled the logo on Celestes ‘friends’. They were connected, no doubt. She let him catch his breath, which didn’t take much time.

“What happened?”

“I.. I broke up with Steven. While walking home I heard a gunshot, and when I found where it came from, I found Steven wiping the concrete with her head.”

Connie didn’t want to think about how little effort that had taken him. She remembered that at his lowest point with barely any powers, Steven had lifted Spinel’s injector. Now he was much stronger than that. She knew that this was nothing to him, and that’s what scared her. If this was nothing to Steven, for a lack of better words, what would he consider as something? What could cause him to break a sweat? There was certainly no doubt in her mind that Jasper fell just short of that level now. If Steven had shattered her, it was clear that he had improved beyond whatever level of effort it took.

Thinking about it, she didn’t know much about him. The distancing started when Steven was finally let out of jail. It had crossed her mind to wonder why he simply never broke out, but as Steven put it, "I’m tired of being wanted. You know me. I’ve been an intergalactic criminal almost all my life." He moved in with her for a few months to get back on his feet, but it was a slow start. The cash he had was mostly used for drinking, and he opted to theft to feed himself. It wasn't all too hard when you considered Steven's ability to move for miles in the blink of an eye, that time would slow down to a massive extent from his perspective. Steven was never violent, he was just silent. Emotional. But that was never enough to reassure Connie, and she could distinctly remember laying down with him, being held from behind with his arms around her. In those moments, Connie could only think of how Steven had treated his coworker. 

She could vividly remember seeing that little satisfied smile, one she would have found cute if not the result of him snapping their bones like pencils. Those rough, calloused hands would usually be considered comfort to her. Slowly rubbing her thumb with his own. After the incident, she could only picture herself as the victim. 

They had the butterfly symbol as well.

“Well, how do you feel?”

Jake interrupted her thoughts.

“Relieved. Steven was always a good boyfriend. Until he wasn’t. And I think he has problems he needs to get sorted out.”

“Look at you, so mature.”

Her hands were shaking.

“I-” 

Connie was cut off, now physically instead of mentally, as she was requested to talk with the police about what happened. She apologized to Jake, and before they departed, she told him where Celeste was staying. That was his priority. His childhood friend. Then she was in the car with the cop, in the back seat. She could feel her gaze from the car mirror. 

“What’s your name?”

“Connie Maheswaran.”

They went through standard witness interview questions. What did she see, when, and where? Who was involved? What did each party do? Where there any other witnesses? Like any citizen, Connie explained to the best of her abilities;

_ A few minutes ago. Hades St. Alleyways, across from Tokyo Smoke. I don’t know, I walked in on him beating her to the ground. Just me. _

Connie also explained her relationship with Steven, gave them his address, and warned them that he may be rather tough to handle. The officer nodded, thanked Connie for her time, and Connie left. Something felt odd about telling the officer about Steven. Nothing that gave away the gems, but there was a creeping feeling that gnawed at her heart, it made her body heat up like she fucked up. It made her nervous. Heading back, Connie bought some water for herself and Jake, knowing by now that Celeste had passed out again. This was all so confusing. 

From what she knew, there was no motivation on Steven’s behalf. Besides herself, Celeste was Steven’s best friend. He admired her, she was so hard-working, and persistent, and she didn’t take shit from anybody. Their whole friend group was aware she was probably the most financially fucked. Unlike Steven who only had himself to look after, Celeste had her younger brother, Tommy, and her mom, disabled. Celeste enjoyed spending time with Steven, so she couldn’t possibly have any motivations to result in a conflict with him. That left the others.

Come to think of it, disregarding Celeste, every person Steven had dragged into the ground had that same butterfly that Jake had, be it a tattoo, embroidered, or painted. It was not a company logo.

-

When Steven ran off to depart from that whole mess he got himself into, it never really occurred to him until now to question why Celeste had hurt him. Scratch that, why he was ambushed in general. From what he knew, he was on good terms with just about everyone. Hell, he made it a point to be rather sweet to anyone he came into contact with. Unless they had an issue with kindness, Steven doubted that any of the gems his name left a bad taste with could afford to stage a hit. Fuck, he doubted that any of the gems had faith a human could kill a Diamond, even if he was only half. 

The adrenaline rush was still fresh, so the only conclusion Steven had was that it was a matter of betrayal. It had only now hit him that he gave Celeste his jacket while she was unconscious. It’s not like he could go back and get it, the alley was probably swarmed with cops. It was probably taken with Celeste to keep her warm, and that made him gag. The thought of that jacket having bloodstains, fucking hurt. Greg gave Steven that jacket on his 20th birthday, during Connie’s SATs. She missed it. He hadn’t yet been friends with Jake, Daphne, Liu, or Celeste by then. It was so.. Lonely. 

The only soft spot that Steven had at this point was for Greg. Even Jake, Daphne, and Liu, who hadn’t wronged him, were untrusting as a result of Connie and Celeste’s actions. It was a little cold. Steven began to jog home, it was only in the dark reflection of a window did he realize his appearance had changed. 

There were more scars on his face. Now, to him, that made sense. These hot pink scars made him look like a robot, but they appeared when gem forms were pushed to the limit, like when Yellow Diamond used her powers, or when destabilizers, or the rejuvenator was used. They appeared on him on the day he got this larger form, when his gem worked overdrive to reach into powers he had never used before, harness and control them, and push him to his limit. Steven had figured that each time he used his pink form, they would grow. This theory was proven true. What Steven didn’t understand was the new color of his eyes. Originally, they were hot pink with white diamond pupils. He always excused them as contacts. The connection was his gem. So why the fuck had that pink turned into a vibrant, dangerous red?

No, no. That was probably a trick. His mind was cloudy, and therefore unreliable for what he saw. His main priority was just to get home, drink some water, and change into a warmer outfit. Maybe one that was harder to recognize, as Steven had a feeling that Connie had ratted him out to the police.

“Fucking.. Bitch. I loved you.” 

The walk home was quiet, and it gave Steven a fair amount of time to reflect on the occurrences of tonight.  _ Shit, I broke my phone, and I lost it. _ Well, thinking about it more, it was good. Now Steven couldn’t be tracked, and none of those assholes would be able to annoy him even more. Alright, but what about the money he put into it? What a waste. He pulled up his shirt over his nose, a well-defined failure to mask the familiar scent of weed. Steven could remember receiving complaints from the neighbors about the constant smell of the smoke, he couldn’t deny it was horrible, and it took a rather long time to febreeze and deep clean his apartment until you could barely trace it. Good time. Bad time. Good- Good bad time. Probably just some people from the slums coming out to the hot spot of the city when no one was around to call them out.

He turned the corner and headed into the lobby, rushing up the stairs, and pulling the key out of his pocket. Steven unlocked his door, a little bit of joy came from the familiar, fluid motion of the key turning and clicking into place, feeling the weight of the lock shift. Steven opened the door, and annoyingly, but normally, Steven crouched and stepped under the door frame, and he felt his hairs grazing the ceiling. One of the few reasons he missed home - he could stretch. It was a small, cramped apartment. The living room had no borders separating itself from the kitchen, a hallway to the bedroom and bathroom, and a closet between the two. That was his home sweet home.

It was at least five minutes of scrubbing warm water and soap to remove Celeste’s dried blood from his hands, and again, Steven came to face that new soft pink scar that adorned his hand. Upon closer inspection, there was no texture. Whereas his hands looked human with little grooves and lines all over, the pink patch on both sides was smooth. Compared to the rough texture of his hands, it felt odd. Still, no feedback when he touched it. It was a lot easier to scrub all the blood off. It didn’t even hurt digging his nail into it.

Opening the fridge, Steven took a bottle of water and spent a few moments downing most of it. When he looked at the branding, the plastic paper wrapped around the midsection, the English looked like a foreign language to him. That wasn’t for a lack of schooling- In fact, his reading had gotten a lot better. When Steven blinked a few times, it seemed to fix itself, and he could now comprehend everything. Not like he needed to. The experience was odd, and it was something he mentally noted to look into later. 

Now, came that routine motion of reaching into his pocket to check his phone, only to remember that it was no longer there. Bummer. What he did find in his pocket was a small electronic bracelet. Not a Fitbit, one of those cheesy couple bracelets, that would quietly beep when one of the wearing parties tapped the sensor. He wanted to break it, see it crumble, but that.. Maybe not now. Later is better. Not when he was so freshly out of a breakup. Looking back, Connie was wearing it. She wore it when she was chewing him out for what he did to Celeste and her ‘coworkers’, whatever they were.

It made him wonder if she was also still clinging. Maybe some part of his beloved didn't want to believe in what "monster" Steven had become. Even that was ridiculous, to him he hadn't changed at all. Sure he may be taller, more intimidating to the eye, sharp-tongued, and overall disregarding of the value of life and- Oh. He was more into this downward spiral than previously thought. Quite the predicament.

With his name tarnished yet again, Steven had no safe spaces in this city, so he decided it was about time to go on the run. He changed his clothes into something warmer, and that would conceal his identifying traits. To the best that he could, anyway. All the clothes he had were made to fit his tall frame, so he couldn't just shrink down to size. It was mostly black, bits of red here and there. The red was reflective and some of it was LED, but they were his warmest and only options he had. Disregarding the fact that he still wanted to look decent.

Steven bit his lip, things felt off as he slipped on a black cotton mask and baseball cap. It felt tense. Like something big was about to happen. For a few moments, he looked over at the door, the dim moonlight only illuminating the paint that hadn't been scratched off, and reflecting from the duct tape that one time he punched it. On both sides, that door was solid oak. He picked up his wallet, slipping it into one of the interior pockets of his jacket, hoping he would have enough time to withdraw his money. Any other uses of his debit card while on the run would allow tracking and prediction of where he was going. 

_ Actually, where am I going to go? Connie's going to tell the gems about this. There's no way she won't. And then- _

An abrupt banging on the oak door interrupted his thoughts, and it made Steven rather nervous. He could feel his body heat up, his heart pumping substantially faster. It was- 

"Police, open up!"

Steven began to breathe faster as his mind did its best to rationalize and make a plan. However, said the plan did involve exposing his gem powers. Considering Steven wasn't going to be legally inhabiting a new home. Fake names would be no use when he was probably the only 8'0" person around, and recoloring his hair wasn’t an option considering that the pink glowed.

Stepping towards the door, he slowly unlocked it, feeling the lock shift weight. The handle began to turn on its own. To gain the upper hand, Steven threw the door open and raced past the cops. He could hear them yelling to chase after, followed by the thumping of footsteps chasing him upstairs. After a few flights, Steven was now in contact with a heavy, locked steel door. As if that would have been a problem. He grasped onto the doorknob and pulled it off. Felt like ripping apart cotton. Kicking the door open, Steven dashed to the ledge. Turning, he found himself surrounded.

"Now, don't do anything rash, boy."

"I won't." 

He stood up on the fence, closing his eyes tight when the blaring lights of a helicopter shone at him. It was hard to hear, so Steven put up his hands. The police looked relieved and began to approach. The blood started to pump again, his ears ringing and his pupils dilated. Steven waved before leaning back, and falling off the roof.

**Author's Note:**

> can you feeel my heart 


End file.
